Lesson 1 – Our Authentic Selves. Musings from 19 years of coaching – what works and what doesn’t – EVER.
After 19 years, nearly 10,000 hours of one-on-one coaching, presenting to thousands of people in groups and facilitating change in corporations and businesses, I am just now beginning to truly appreciate what really works as well as what really doesn’t when it comes to empowering others to change and transform.
My classroom (and coaching room) of life tells me this – most people will never change much because they don’t really want to. I know this sounds slightly negative and controversial, but it is true. They will talk it, dabble in it, and make idle commitments toward it, even invest a fortune in others to help them get there. But, at the end of the day, do they live it to the max?
Over these first few musings, I wish to share my simple and honest thoughts and experiences about what does work and why the other stuff just doesn’t. I hope you enjoy and truly do have the courage to change.
Anthony Robins once famously said, “The only time people will change is when they have a near death experience”. I agree this is one powerful way to create change, but who really wants to wait until this happens?! I am convinced there are other pathways to change, as I have seen them firsthand. But ya gotta want it bad enough!!
If you would like to add your thoughts about what your personal experience has been – about what really worked for you, please subscribe to my twitter and let me know. I would love to hear your real experience of change or transformation in your journey.
Lesson 1 – It’s all about YOU!
If you want to change, no book, DVD or coach is going to work, unless you make YOU the highest priority (at least during the time you are focussed on the change). This is essential, as the energy required to change can be immense. Many see this as selfishness, but I say it is selfish NOT to make you #1 for a little while. A very wonderful client of mine once said “I am a fourth class citizen”. I was curious, he clarified that “My career is number one, my children are number two, my wife is number three and I am number four”. This man was a corporate CEO, weighed 120kgs and was never at home. He needed to be selfish if he wanted the changes he talked to me about. He needed to be number one for a little while.
Ask yourself, are all the people I am seeking to serve (aka seeking approval from) really getting the best me when I myself do not know what that is? We can only be for others and the world the limitations we impose on ourselves. For example, do you give your best in your relationships with your partner (if you have one), when you see yourself undeserving of love? Or, are you the best for your staff or colleagues, when you feel you are not good enough or unworthy. Would your relationships and career (and everything else for that matter) be more fulfilling if you felt more deserving and worthy?
This is THE most important lesson I have learnt, for without this self-awareness or self-value nothing will change.
As the incredible Sage Deepak Chopra once told me “We define ourselves by our limitations. We are unlimited potential”. WOW
How do you define yourself? Start a conversation with me on my Facebook Page and I can help fill in some gaps on “how to” see yourself more fully.
Live true until next time.